"+Food +Hot +Man +Cooking"

http://www.twitpic.com/191zn

Frombecca posted a photo of a marvelous-looking paella with the caption: "A man's job to cook paella?" (See URL above). Her tags, even more telling of the thought process, caught my attention:
Tags: +food +hot +man +rice +cooking +prawns +gas +paella +heat +cooking class.

I, for one, think these words stream so beautifully together. Starting with "+food +hot + man +cooking"....pick your word order. While I do Tweet with Becca, I can't speak to what intrigued her about paella and the tradition of men preparing the dish. Nonetheless, I am quite certain these ideas run together for many a female foodie and non-foodie alike. I know because I have been involved in numerous conversations in recent weeks exploring the simple concept of men and cooking. What intrigues us about an act so simple, so traditional, so unsurprising as men being personally and physically involved in food preparation?

I come bearing no answers, but do have an idea. We could pretend that the intrigue generates from the age-old conflict that gender roles have demarcated segments of our lives. Can we not move past the stereotypic "female in the kitchen" even at this point? You need not look past the kitchen door of pick-any-restaurant-in-your-city to find a number of males who are utterly food-savvy, yet when we peer through a home kitchen doorway we somehow still expect to see a woman standing there. While this does present a conflict, it is not what has my attention, or < I think, the attention of many women in my sphere.

Here is what I believe to be the real intrigue over men in the kitchen: I'd like to say it aloud (as loudly as one can on a blog page):
Women love to see men cooking.
Give me a man preparing paella and I'll show you a dozen voyeurs who'd gladly lean in to observe, giggling, oohing and ahhing, and not over the paella. Where the art and science of preparing food become alchemy in a man's hands, where he can be seen caressing ingredients, nurturing them, magically creating something delicious for a woman to taste, you've got a scenario more titillating than a paperback bodice-ripper.

Give me a man who loves to discuss how he culled radicchio from his garden and carefully incorporated it into a dish, or who had to rush to the herb sale for purple basil for a Thai dinner with his girlfriend that night, and I'll show you a swooning handful of ladies just drooling to meet said man. Regardless of looks or education or property or success in other areas, a man who can cook- better yet, a man who talks openly about cooking with a glint in his eye- comes very close to having any woman he wants. Let this be a lesson to my male readers: A man who cooks may cover a multitude of sins with his kitchen skills- provided that he exercises them often.

Forget whether it is a woman's job or a man's job to do the cooking. Do we really care any more? It's a relationship thing. Explore the pleasures of food through preparing it, talking about it, sharing it- and you'll find it can lead to a multitude of other pleasures. You can make your own list. Today, mine will simply be "+food +hot + man +cooking." Share

Sun, Sun, Sun

Let’s face it. April is just a teaser for spring. What do you long for in the depths of cold, dark winter? Sunlight, of course! So do we all. But even here in mid-April I feel teased and tricked by the sun as it ducks and hides behind dreary clouds and covers its warmth in a blanket of drear. Other April days may well be ablaze at sunrise as every icy dew drop catches a spark of sunlight and magnifies it in orange-red...but the truth is that days are still feeling short and it just ain't summer yet. So we are sun-starved.

In sitting here frustrated at not having something to write that anyone else would care about, I recognized something. While my inspiration was sapped by the dreary morning, by the lack of sunlight bursting forth, I am nonetheless quite warm, comfortable and content. The source of my comfort is two-fold: my morning spiritual studies and my $200 Alaska Northern Lights lightbox. I won't go into the former as this blog isn't my spiritual platform. Yet. But I would like to talk about my beloved Lightbox.

I'm a huge fan of sunlight. No, that won't do: I'm an outright sunlight junkie. I can't get enough of the sun. In my cubicle, a vast distance from any window, I can sense when a cloud moves over the sun. Honest. I am one of the masses who become downright depressed when the wintry days of drear pile up, one after another, in a meaningless, undefined shapeless mound of, what's the word? BLAH. Thoughts won't take shape, sentences don't congeal, feelings are muted- particularly happiness. There is a "vacancy" sign parked in the space that my sense of life's meaningfulness ordinarily occupies. But when that beautiful moment comes and sunlight streams sharp and bright-hot through the dreary gray- I'm suddenly alive- spiritually, cognitively, emotionally. Can you relate in some way? When the real thing hides, enter The Lightbox.

This miracle Lightbox is bursting with happy energy from special bulbs whose light mimics the sun's rays, sans the harmful ones. Mine is a 26"x18"x4" rectangular idol sitting directly before me on my desktop, just beyond my Mac Book. I plant myself before it daily in ritualistic fashion, my eyes lifted to it in awe, to re-energize my life force, my feelings of joy, my sense of purpose. Really- no joke. I've never experienced anything like it (well, outside spiritual pursuits) and wouldn't give it up for anything. And yes, I can feel it working on me right now.

I won't try to relate to you the sense of desperation and dread that blanketed me the moment I dropped my first Lightbox and a flick of the switch confirmed that The Light had left me. For those of us with Seasonal Affective Disorder, the fix of sunlight is worth any price, so I sprung for another as fast as my fingers could pound out the correct combination of credit card numbers on my keyboard. In a few days, my wonderful friends at Alaskan Northern Lights had shipped me my new idol. My face reflects its glory every morning and sometimes late evenings as well. My family, friends and neighbors see that The Light has come, that I am changed. And my inner experience? Peace, man. You'll just have to try it for yourself and see.

Of course, the sun is on its way, today or tomorrow, to lavishly spread its hot fingers over us, warming us inside and out, healing the pangs of winter blues. I can't wait. No other brightness can compare; not the glorious flash of lightning in the pitch-black of a furious spring storm, not the flash of a camera at a loving family Easter gathering; not even the sweet flickering flame of a candle lit by lovers. No, I wait for the real thing. But I wait in front of a Lightbox. Amen, and Amen. Share

My New Favorite Elixir: Frends, Food and Art with a Twist of Lime

Sometime this morning in the twilight between sleep and wake, I decided this: when I experience an event that I refer to as a "highlight of my life," I should not only blog about it but titrate out the intriguing elements so I can repeat them-often. So here I am. I have for years maintained that nothing could be better than getting together to eat with friends. (Before you protest, please note that only certain material is appropriate for the blog platform). This morning I must add one component to that aromatic elixir of friends and food: Art.


What could have been a nice little art show opening, a few supportive friends drifting in and out on their way to fulfill bigger and better Friday night plans, transformed into an evening I'll never forget. Last night, a calligraphic art exhibit, "Words," opened at Centennial Art Center in Nashville's Centennial Park. Three pieces of mine were hung (actually four, but the declined nude painting will save for later discussion) among the gorgeous works of my colleagues- not enough pieces to merit much attention, but enough for me to celebrate my recent overcoming of artist's block. Thankfully, I decided to celebrate my overcoming of more than a few difficulties of late by inviting nearly everyone I call a friend to this, my fifth art opening. The results absolutely bowled me over.

When I arrived (a moment late, as my daughter was home feverish), two friends, Christy and Jim, were already perusing the works of art. From that moment until after the show ended two hours later, I could barely catch my breath for all my friends arriving and commenting. The room seemed filled to the brim with only my own guests- a real coup-and was bubbling over with warmth and joy. Did anyone else see that, or was it just that I felt so loved? I do have pictures....

Admittedly I did not have opportunity to contemplate the works of my uber-talented calligrapher friends, but I will go back and do so another day. For now, forgive me for enjoying the sense that it was "all about me." (OK, me, and the free wine...).Terrible, this self-promotion, I know, but P.T Barnum said, "Without promotion, something terrible happens- Nothing!" So I am learning to promote my art and my writing and today am luxuriating in the love and attention of many wonderful friends as a result. Sometimes- many times- that is precisely what we need. Providing a venue for my outdoor buddies, dance partners, and FaceBook friends to co-mingle made sense; but somehow I'd overlooked the fact that many of my friends really do enjoy the art.

And there was plenty beautiful art covering the walls of the venue. From manuscript lettering to gilding to contemporary italic texts, the calligraphy displayed was lush and varied. Surrounding ourselves with beauty and inspiration moves a gathering of friends up a notch in terms of experience. Everyone is jovial, inspired. Two friends offered to buy one of my painterly works (which was commissioned, so no sale). Even better than those offers, I received heaps and gobs of soul-nourishing, ego-building compliments to my work, which is an intimate reflection of my heart and soul, joy and grief. There is nothing else so sweet as that compliment.


As the reception was wrapping up, we re-congregated at Fiest Azteca (one big shout-out to the staff) around the longest, most hyper-extended table one could possibly fit in the room. We slurped margheritas from icy pitchers of ruby red and wan green, downed basket after basket of crisp tortilla chips and bowls of chunky salsa, and relished the companionship of friends. There was talk of the huge group of paddlers meeting tomorrow at Old Hickory Lake, of baby "Snap" due in May, of a group gathering for Easter dinner, and of the poor use of grammar rampant in the U.S. Then, of course, there was talk of this and that person's desire to paint, write, draw, or photograph, peppered with the assumption that one is either born with talent, or without. I disagree, by the way. Everyone- to my house for art therapy! A joyous throng- that's how I can best describe our group last night. Therefore I postulate: Friends+art+food must = wonderment, joy, love, life.




Forty. That's how many years it took for me to really "get" friendship. Regrettable. I grew up painfully shy, then overcame it. But it still took years for me to understand that friends come in many different packages and have different roles in our lives, that no one ever really completely "gets" us, and that, while it is up to us to love ourselves, friends make life so full and beautiful.

Like the works of art at last night's reception, every friend I have is a unique work, a beautiful expression of his or her experiences, and possessing a nuance of life and love that noone else does. I'm grateful for each person who took the time to come out to "Words" whether in support of me or to be seen or to be inspired by art or to catch up or just for the free plastic cup of wine (you know who you are). I still carry the scent of the perfume of each person with whom I came into contact last night. It would be assenine of me to lump my friends together as "the group," although together we made a sumptuous and fragrant bouqet. So I would like to take time to thank each of you as I would write in your school yearbooks since we don't have those at our age:

Kurt A.: What a true friend. Thanks for getting us all together! It was amazing, thanks to you. Your encouragement goes a very long way.
Ginger: My best girl, you are a wonder in all ways. Sweet, Loyal, full of integrity, intellect and wisdom, and a heck of alot of fun! Thank God our senses of humor match so we have an outlet in each other :-) You have the best laugh in Nashvegas. Snap is so lucky!
Christy O': You are a delight. Always smiling and encouraging. I've never heard a negative thing from you!
Jim: You are everywhere! You make me smile. When will you dnce with me?
J.C. Jones:My favorite EVER cajun, contra and waltz dance partner; looking forward to next Saturday night! Thanks for stopping by.
Bryan & Mary Laurens: I love you two! But I love Zim and 'Liza more...JK. You are amazing friends and I'm grateful to have some o dem cajun cousin' raht down de street, cha! Looking forward to Easter dinner..thanks for coming out!
Chris J. T.: I can't believe you came! So glad you did. You are a kind and good soul and a real encourager; love your quick sense of humor. Here's to bluegrass and bluegill!
Michael T.: CONGRATS on finishing your e-book! You are a great friend and such a cheerleader- thank you for coming out! See you for the non-fiction writer's meetup!
Marsha B.; A true friend and kind soul. I love you! Hope you had as much fun as it seemed.
Susan N.: You're so beautiful! Smart as a whip. Thank you for all the uplifting words..they make me strong. BTW, I can neither walk a tightrope nor play the bazouki. (Are you scoring for grammar here?) When will your cover for "Nashville's Most Beautiful People" contest be out?
Chris Highfield: You never fail to uplift and challenge me spiritually, and are a wonderful example of the best sort of man. One day may you cook for me when you are not so busy...
James H: You're so sweet to come to the show! I look forward to catching up with you soon.
Jennifer G: I look forward to getting to know you- it was great to see you. Let me borrow that jacket...
Logan: Man, I LOVE your fashion sense. PLEASE teach other guys or open a shop. I love the way you look people in the eye when they speak to you. And I gotta tell ya,' your grammar is sheer perfection ;-) Glad I met you. Let's hike!
Mark A.: Another fine example...you are the kindest soul and a true friend. You have the second best laugh in Nashvegas, and you make a great dad.
Bryan T. My GOD how does that keep happening! You're one of my closest buds yet you aren't getting invites..I'm sorry! Let me make up for it by riding in your convertible.. you know I love you! Thank you for coming to the show :-)
Ann W.: A truly inspiring artist. You're lovely and kind and supportive and..I could go on and on. Great to see you!
Jenni P.: My love! You are a shining example of friendship... and such a loyal bunny mama. How was Mindy last night?
Theresa: You're such a creative woman- thanks for your friendship! Let's do fire again soon...:-) Enjoy your new job!
Fran P.: Glad to have you as a new friend. I enjoyed hanging out with you last night and hope to hike with you soon!
Jason D.: Your sense of humor has gotten me through many days. Send on those jokes, buddy! When are you coming for your first calligraphy lesson? You have a great heart, btw.
Beth C.: You're a wonderful friend and great woman. Thanks for being there!
Jay N.: CONGRATULATIONS! You finished your masterpiece! Will this be your magnus opus? Surprise us... I want a, autographed first edition, of course. You inspire me.
Doug F.: You looked like you were having a great time last night! Thank you for coming out. See you on the next hike? I barely spoke to you..look forward to catching up.
LaRae: Please tell me the story behind your uber-cool name! You are a ray of sunshine and I'd like to spend more time with you! Only I my bike can't keep up with your bike... Thanks for coming!
Lori/ Laurie: We didn't discuss your spelling... Thanks for coming out..it was a pleasure to hang out with you!
Susan B.: Always a happy laugh even when times are tough. We have some kindred spirit in us... You're an amazing woman and I'm glad I got to hang with you again. Looking forward to the lake tomorrow and to Rock Island later this summer!
Susan P.: What a sweet friend. Things are developing behind the scenes for you, chica..you'll be amazed you ever worried! I can't wait to see what's next for you and know it will knock your socks off!
Steve H.: You inspire and challenge me- thank you. Congrats on your exciting gallery deal! Thanks for coming out.
Michelle O.: You're a lovely and brave globetrotter and I'm so gald you came out last night. I miss your company! Let's travel together soon.
Ingrid: You are a beacon of hope:-) Amelie is such a beautiful little pea pod- congrats! I can't believe Lelo is your mom...she's the best we've got in Nashville.
Yvonne and Frances: Your compliments were stunning. Thank you for taking the time to encourage me! London...really???
Valerie C.: A huge thank-you for being the hands and feet of the show. And for letting me down easy about the nude figure....
Dan C. My real estate agent (this begins to sound like an Oscar speech): One day we will buy that house! Thank you.
Gary W.: An inspiration on many, many levels. you are a kind heart and great man. See you on the lake..or dance floor...or trail... or flying through the air... or ziplinging....
I know I haven't covered everyone, but there were two margheritas last night and my brain's a bit foggy.

Here's to what art each of us shares in some way. Share